I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You ruined the universe
Randomize