Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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