Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
