lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
