why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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