Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
