Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
