didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
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I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
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It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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