i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
