I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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