You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
