Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
