I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
