He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
