sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
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I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
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I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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