i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
