Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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