I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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