make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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