Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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