so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish i was in the wii world.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
