She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize