Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize