they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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