yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
my liver is dry heaving
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
