We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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