from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize