That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
