Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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