Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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