I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
