My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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