Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
