Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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