ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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