Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize