I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
