When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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