I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
