Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
