5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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