we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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