We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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