I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
