Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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