I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
