Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
either way he was missing a nipple.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
