What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
