Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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