We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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