She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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