drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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