Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
