I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
