Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
