Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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