Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
