I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
