I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize