Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
