So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
