I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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