DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
