im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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