Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
